of all things I've lost...

... I miss my funnel the most. As most Decembers, my house looks like Chaos, Foolishness and Disaster came to an all-night kegger at my place and left before I got up. I think I see 4 square inches of my kitchen table, at the other end, where I can't reach it. I don't want it to feel left out, so I might just shove something over there.

It has also been duley informed that I have not keep my faithful, or even unfaithful, reader apprized of the happenings of Chez Bideshigirl. Here now are the highlights:

• I have turned into a hermit. Who knew this could happen in modern day America, but low and behold, it has. I only know this since I have become unhermited and everyone has said to me, "Bideshigirl, I haven't seen you in months!" and that is the literal truth.
• I've been knitting, but you can hardly tell. I have been becoming more and more focused on making my knits better, thus I have ripped out and re-knit just about every item multiple times. If this doesn't make me a better knitter, nothing will.
• I bought a new car. A 2009 Ford Focus in sterling grey. Isn't it pretty?
  
  

• Then, less than 12 hours later, I hit my first deer. He was a 4-point buck. Did I mention that I was on my way to Michigan and that I was 4 hours away from home when this occurred? I wasn't too happy.

However, I survived unscathed and the car, which is still currently unnamed, was fixed. I still ended up having a delightful time picking apples and making applebutter with Sweetie and Megan. Also, if you are in dire need of applebutter, please give me a call. I can give you the hook-up.

Lastly, I have a new roommate named Buttercup. She is a guinea pig that Cousin Jamie's two oldest girls gave me for Christmas.

Now, I'm off (yes, I know I've been off for years) to find my funnel to pour the big bottle of homemade vanilla into smaller bottles. Then, maybe, Christmas postcards... but I wouldn't hold your breath too long on that. It's cold out and my flannel jammies are making suggestions about going to bed. It is hard to deny the luring call of the fannel jammies on bitterly cold nights.

harriet is no more

So, the friendly hamster named Harriet has gone to the big wheel in the sky.

Thus, leaving me alone in the flat I let.

*sigh*

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so I am ready for the ham loaf. Bring on the ham loaf and the other fixings. Aunt Carolyn , Uncle Bob and Cousin Daniel are up from Florida to visit and partake in the joys of ham loaf.

Sweetie is home also, to partake of turkey with Stella and Berkley. Yeah for home!!!

The Cousin Jamie socks are still a work in progress, but I look forward for them to be done by Feb of '09.

That isn't so bad, since Sweetie just got his pair of socks that I promised him Christmas '07 literally last night. What is 11 months between friends? A stitch in time, my friends.

delusions of gauge

I am not the best knitter in the world. This is a known fact and one not up for dispute. I knit to make myself happy and to perserve what passes for my sanity. This is also a known fact and one, also, not up for dispute. Currently, I am in the midsts of a sock-mania. I knit socks of various types, such as big boy boot socks, fingerling-wear-with-loafers socks and just about everything inbetween. This July, I joined a Knit-A-Long (KAL) for socks. The basic recipe starts as such: sock yarn + size 1 needles (glorified toothpicks) and 63 stitches. I, being in the midsts of said sock-mania, thought to myself, "This sounds great! It doesn't matter that I have 3 different pairs of socks currently in progress, this will be terrific! I have the needles (which I promptly went out and bought) and the yarn (which I had picked up the the previous month as souviner yarn from Florida) and plenty of time on my hands, so why not?"

Did I mention that I occassionally lie to myself?

Then I thought to myself, "Heck, I'm rockin' the socks, I can just follow the directions and these socks will turn out great!" (Was I the only one who heard Tony the Tiger in the last part of that sentance?) Thus, I followed the directions to a T. Without swatching. Without a care in my heart, and obviously, not a thought in my head of what could go wrong.

Did I forget to mention that I have exceptionally tight knitting? Stitches cry out in pain as they are bound to their brothern, row after row after tight row. I knew that I was a little short in yarn, so I didn't make the leg as long as I normally do. I knit both socks at the same time, so as to avoid SSS ( Second Sock Syndrom). I turned the heels on both socks and became concerned that the amount of wool left in the ball was looking a little thin, but I knit on. Just after turning the heel, I tried to put the sock on and found out that my foot was too large. Heck, my ankle was too large for the leg, but that did not deter me, the all-mighty sock knitter. No! This would just become a Cinderella Sock (a sock that everyone tries on until it fits someone to go home with). Luckily, Cousin Jamie fit the bill (barely), so I have a goal of finishing the socks for Cousin Jamie.

I knit and knit and knit until I am about halfway down the actual foot of the sock, when I run out of wool. Literally. I panic. A sock is not a sock if it stops at the arch and does not cover toes. I think its a rule. Like a big rule. Of course, this happens in September, months after I have started the socks and months after I have taken the wrapper off of the wool and I can't remember what I did with the label that has the name of the maker, colorway, country of origin or anything that would be remotely helpful. I believe I cursed and drank the night away when I finally figured this out.

The blinders have come off... I am an idiot and I don't dare reproduce at this point, since I can't hardly be responsible for a lousy pair of wool socks, how on earth will I keep track of a small human? This is horrid! I have made promises of socks and she has tried them on for pity sakes!!!! One cannot tease another with promises of handknit socks and not produce them forthwith. That is cruel.

I then find the label for the wool and a prayer of thanksgiving goes out to the goddess of wool and foolish knitters. I google and lo and behold... I find the company. I order the yarn and it comes in. How lovely it is in it's wooly goodness.

Thus, I am now finishing this ill-begotten sock project without any drinking. That is, until I have to kitchner stitch. How I end up with an odd amount of stitches when I started with an even amount confuses even the knitting gurus.

I believe, at this current rate, Cousin Jamie will have a lovely, snug (just hugging her feet a little tighter) pair of red wool socks for Valentines Day. What is 6 months between a knitter and her socks?

is a clean desk

a sign of that the 4 horseman are around the corner? Everyday I take the time to tidy up my desks (yes, I have two) and I take an odd sense of pleasure in the fact that when I come in, it's tidy. (Isn't that just a horrible sentance structure for a person with a degree in English? I'm glad that you agree.) However, back to the subject at hand... 5 work days of clean desk syndrom (CDS). Who knew it could happen? Now, I just have to apply this logic to my single closet of my flat. It is currently the black hole of clothes and other sundry items.

Next week, the local school starts for another year and the following week is the ever popular Hardin Co Fair. Cousin Jamie's kids will be showing goats, rabbits, and chickens while living at the fair with their mom. That's right, Cousin Jamie will be staying in a pop-up camper with 4 children for the duration of the fair. Tuesday through Sunday. 6 days of fair. With 4 children ages 11 to 1.5 years of age. Of her own accord.

I knew insanity ran in the family - now there's proof!

I've got to say, Cousin Jamie has got bigger ovaries than I do to tackle such a thing. I'm pretty sure that I would never sign up for it without being on drugs. Yes, I did join Peace Corps, but I didn't have to lug the crap that kids need and there is no whining in PC. (Ok, that whole whining thing is a lie, but they are adults and can be told to suck it up, cupcake. grrrr...)

two days and counting

I have a clean desk two days running. I loved it when I came in this morning and had a clean desk and everything was in it's place. Who knew I was a closeted clean desker? Now, I have to tackle the drawers and then life will be good.

Just as long as Jilli doesn't find my chocolate stash. That child is the cutest mooch there is and no chocolate is safe from her. She is her mother's child!

Oh, and don't hold your breath about pics. Cause, I'm still holding out for the ones I took down in Mexico last year.

hahahaha.

unorganized organization

Organization is a major problem for me, along with keeping deadlines. As I sit here on my desk at work, there are 6 piles of papers/books/random things (the fly swatter is very important). This needs to change. I've been reading a new blog (which soon will makes it's appearance on the sidebar o' links) called Peace of Mind Organizing. Not only is she a knitter (which warms the cockles of my heart), but she is a professional organizer. Can you say, "Laura wants a new friend?" Seriously, she has her issues with deadlines and keeping her desk clean, but she actually does something about it, while (currently) I bellyache about it.

I bellyache no more.

Today is the day that things find a home, get tossed and I'm going to keep at it until it is done. For this, I believe that I am even going to get the camera out of the hiding place in my purse (yes, I carry it around and don't take pictures - I'm a dork and we've covered that already) and take a snap or two of the pre- and post- desk production.

mama has sole and leg!

The cursed socks are finished. Sweetie's Christmas/birthday from 2007 is finally finished and just in time for the fair. Can we say, "How country are you?" when the highlight of finishing a project is that they can compete at the county fair.

Now on for the SOS Knit-Along socks!!! I have a pretty red yarn from my Florida adventure that will be perfect for it. Know, all I need to do is print out the directions and cast on. Nothing but good times for a red pair of socks.

unmatched soles

Socks, socks and still the same socks!!! I have somehow screwed up matching up the sock's sole mate and the bastard heel will be ripped to back yet again. And Harriet the Hamster has learned a new bad word. If my hamster could talk, I'm sure that she'd make a sailor blush! Thank goodness for muteness.

So, I guess a parrot will never be in my future as a pet.

Maybe Sweetie will receive his 2007 birthday/Christmas gift by Christmas 2008. No promises though!

my noodle has been used

And it is tired! Today, the ladies of the Mt. Zion United Methodist Church made noodles. I was amongst their number and was the next to youngest present (I'm almost 31. That's sad.). We made 7 batches of dough and I have no clue how many pounds of noodles that it makes. Just suffice it to say that I was covered in sweat and flour. And I'm going back for more.

If you will be in the Jumbo, Ohio area on the 17th of July, please stop down at McDonald Grange Hall and have a bite of dinner. Freewill donation for dinner that will go towards the church's bills. A good time will be had by all. Promise. If you say otherwise, we'll sick God and Jesus on 'ya. (Ok, probably not, but you never know what little old ladies will do next.)

when arrogance met the knitter

I have decided that I will learn how to knit lace. I chose a very lovely basil colored yarn that is a delight to knit with in a lace weight, found a scarf pattern in the 1 skein wonders book and started to knit.

I knitted 8 rows of straight knitting. Everything was nice and even, gage was happening. Life was good.

I started the pattern. The first row went off without a hitch. Life was getting better. I thought to myself, "This isn't so hard! I have no clue what other knitters are kavitching about. I don't need to put in a ripline!!! I'm good."

Isn't karma a bitch?

The second row ended up with one too many stitches. Never fear! Super knitter is here!!! I will figure out the problem in the next row and fix it as I knit.

The third row ended with one too many stitches. My bubble burst. Only three rows into the pattern and I'm a stitch over on two of those rows. Curses!!!!

I took a deep breath. Cursed a blue streak. Then I calmly took the entire thing off the needle and frogged it back to the start.

And thus the reason riplines were created. Lesson learned for today.

teevee withdrawl

Last night I was antsy in a bad way. I wanted to watch teevee so badly and I have only myself to blame. I had a teevee during my vacation and then I kinda stayed at Mom and Dad's for a while and I became re-addicted. That's right, I'm a backslider in the worst way. I don't know how long it will take, but I will become detatched from the teevee and kick this addiction!


grrrrr!

when toes don't match

I have a problem. My toes don't match. I am knitting up a super-cute pair of socks for my mom and I neglected to write down my stitch count for the first one. This wouldn't be so bad if I had knit the socks back to back (or heel to heel), but I didn't. I went on a left foot frenzy. So now, I'm trying to match Toe #2 to Toe #1 and having a horrible time. I've already knit the toe 3 times, but the sucker is still not coming out good. I think that I will have to start yet again. 4th time the charm?

Life is not good for a sock knitter when her socks don't match.

when nice socks mate

Isn't this a cute sock? It actually has a mate and has been worn out of the house. Who knew that this could happen to a cute sock like this? But it has. There are several un-mated socks in residence currently. When I get around to taking pictures, there will be a plethora.

Enjoy the Memorial Day weekend!
Love,
Laura

p.s. No, I'm not dead and no, I have not become a hermit. I only resemble one on days ending with 'y'.

i knead out

Ok, it's a bad pun, but let's be honest... February is the longest month of the year here in Ohio. I'm thinking about Florida every single day. Or Cancun in Mexico. Think of it... sitting on a beach with a bottle of beer and seafood for dinner. *sigh* Until then, I'm baking bread at home. Nothing like carbs to make an ass larger, but happier.

Double your bootie, double your fun... isn't that the saying? I've started the next set, since I've got to mail these bad boys out to the newest boy on the block.

Aren't these the coolest socks? They have only taken me a few months, a couple froggings and quite a bit of cursing. But aren't they cute?

They are so cute, I had to show them off twice.

shake your bootie!

Note to Pregnant Ladies: Get your name in the pot for a pair of booties. All booties are coming in sunshine yellow or a white varigated while supplies last. Matching baby hats maybe also in the works.

the plague

This is what a sick day at Casa de BideshiGirl looks like. Slippers on, jammies still on, in my new favorite comfy chair looking at patterns. Yep, that's right... baby booties. Did I mention that there are about 14 bajillion girls pregnant right now. Ok, that might be slightly exaggerated, but seriously, watch what you drink ladies!

The Pink Stripey baby blankey is being worked on, even in sickness. No worries, I'll wash this before I give it away. I don't want any sniffley babies on my watch!

Mom has put in a request for socks. She scoped out my sock stash (which doesn't count towards your real stash) and liked these the most. I hope she gets them by her birthday in October. Ladies, please help a knitter out.... stop drinking the water.

Faux Baby Blankey which I have dubbed Fuzzy Wuzzy. A basic dishcloth pattern with super fuzzy yarn. I plan on putting an animal head on top, like a teddy bear. Or llama. I'm not known for my artisic endeavors. Just as long as it does not scare the child in question, all will be well.

The Entrelac Scarf of '07-'08. What wonderful colorways Noro produces. It took me 4 skeins (balls of yarn for you non-knitters) and a ton of time, but I can honestly say that I enjoyed the project.

In fact, I want to knit an entrelac afgan. Maybe next winter. I can't wait for this to be fixed, blocked and ready to show off in person.

Or at least when I'm done sneezing.

when i said change, i meant it

This is an entrelac scarf that Linda H and I took a class to learn to do. Mine has a slight jog in the road, but never fear... my guru says it is fix-able. I love my guru. She is the best. Also, please don't look at my scarred floor. No amount of scrubbing on my hands and knees will make all the scuffs go away. I prefer to look up.

You may have noticed that this is a pair of socks on one needle. I will somehow figure out how to mark it off my To Do Before 31st Birthday List. Aren't they super cool? I just hope to finish these before winter leaves for good.

This is the mystery project. When the person who receives this as a gift gets it, you will get a picture. Fair? It is a wonderful baby alpaca and a carry-along of a merino mix. Delighful to knit with.

This is yet another start to a baby blanky. I'm praying that someone pops out a girl. And that I have this done before that little girl goes home. I have also picked up a ton of baby yarn to start booties and hats, since I know about half a dozen girls who are currently pregnant. I don't have the time/money/creativity/patience to knit that many blankies. So, first come, first serve with this blankey. (Note to self: Don't drink the water)

This little hat has already found a new owner... Nisha's little Maya is the proud owner. What a dollbaby she is!

a new start

I think I need a new start to many a thing. As of now, this thing is going to reflect my knitting. I always have about 14 projects on needles at any given moment. They all need their time in the sun to shine. So, this evening, my camera is going home and The Photo Shoot will commence.